But enough ado. LET'S GO ON WITH THE SHOW! (Stay tuned for relentless, interminable updates.)
8:35 "The monologue. 'Anne Hathaway isn't funny,' said Sara, and it's true; Franco and Hathaway are genial but essentially empty vessels. Billy Crystal and Whoopi have sensibilities--tonight you can practically picture Bruce Vilanch crouching in the wings with his fingers crossed. (Vilanch, of course, has been writing jokes for the Oscars for 21 years and is an all-around purveyor of schlock in general. Here's a fascinating interview with him in which he rips into Gervais' hosting job at the Globes.")
-Matt
8:51 "Kirk Douglas is 91. Our illegal web viewing of the ceremony has twice been shut down due to silly matters like 'piracy control.' PAH. We are now on our third live feed; whoever's doing it is very creatively toggling between channels so as to avoid detection. (David: 'I feel like we're involved in the experience.') Now we're on the third nom for supporting actress. Definitely don't know who the third and fourth nominees are. at all. As far as the general tone of the show goes, I think David said it quite aptly when he said 'doing too much old movie stuff.'"
-It Girl?
9:06 THAT LAST POST WAS HARDLY ME AT ALL.
- the TRUE It Girl?
9:07 Stifled again. The art of channel selection is passed on to Daniella.
"I'm messing everything up"- Daniella
-the TRUE It Girl?
9:13 "DANI HERE AGAIN! I love Javier Bardem! Though he's kind of chubby here. Jake is licking and smacking his way through a half-dozen hot wings. Sara is eating what looks like latke raviolis doused in yogurt. An obtrusive pop-up keeps telling us to watch the Oscars at http://www.nwchd.net/. 'Bookmark it!' it says. 'Maybe we should bookmark it,' says David. 'SHEEP!' yells Matt. The pop-up is growing larger, and is now obscuring the entire screen. 'I can't see!' says Nicole. Anyway, I hafta go to a dance show, so this is IT for me." -Dani
9:23 "On to our fifth live feed! We are now watching what looks like someone taking a video of their TV with a cameraphone. We can hear two people making boozy, off-the-cuff comments. It's rather like Mystery Science Theater. Russell Brand and Helen Mirren are taking the stage. Says the drunk: 'Oh my god, Helen Mirren is really hot. Are they together??!' I PREDICT THE ONE FROM DENMARK WILL WIN! YOU HEARD IT HERE!" -Matt
9:30 I was right about the best foreign film pic! (Matt stole my suggestion). I love the Danes. She even used the term "morfar" in her speech (which means mother's father in Danish--thank you to Aliza CW who studied abroad in Copenhagen last semester). Reese is now presenting, and she looks great. Who saw How Do You Know? It was not great. Christian Bale just won for best supporting actor! "More like CHRISTIAN BEARD!" our fearless video-recording friend commentates. I have to say, I do not love the beard. Mark Ruffalo looked great. We have now turned to reading the chat box on the corner of the screen, so we could see what our commentator is angrily responding to. Matt has now joined in the chatting. David suggests we write positive things--and so Matt writes: YOUR COMMENTARY IS GREAT!... I CANT SAY ENOUGH ABOUT HOW PLEASED I AM WITH YOUR FEED... GIVE US A SHOUT-OUT!... IF YOU WERE A TRUCK I'D BE MAKING THE HONK-HONK SIGN...YOU ARE SADLY NOT A TRUCK. I WANT RECOGNITION...
This was interspersed with the angry cybershouts of our fellow stream-watchers. Now there's a commercial with The Wind by Cat Stevens! What a great night." --Sara
9:43 "Jake Schorr here. I'm a first-time blogger (aside from this little number, which I created in March '09 in a fit of existential depression that started in '07 and is still going strong)--so be gentle with me. What has disappointed me most about the ceremonies thus far is the appalling lack of GLAMOUR. The hosts are waving at their mommies, and while I've certainly 'been there,' I don't think it's appropriate for a show of this caliber. I mean, I didn't abandon my homework, put on my heaviest winter coat, and come downstairs for THIS shit. Oof. Jake Schorr Out." -Jake Schorr Out
9:55 "I'm back. Have been exchanging tense text messages with my sister. It all started when I told her about this endeavor. Her reply was swift. 'Haha what do you mean you're live blogging it?' A brief discussion followed with my friends as to whether she was unfamiliar with the term 'liveblogging' or simply incredulous and concerned. I sent her the link. A few minutes passed, during which she was presumably catching up on our blog. 'How did you get involved in this?' she asked." -Sara C-W, transcribed by Matt
9:59 ""That's old Hollywood"--N Carty (AKA It Girl?) on the winner's gloves. We just saw Cate Blanchett present Best Costume. What did you all think about her dress? It was quite unusual--very constructed, such intricate beading! Interesting and beautiful? Tacky? Bizarre? Commenter(s), tell us your thoughts.
The former 'best song' winners montage wakes up the crowd!!! We think it's a commercial at first, and then are roused to sing along with Celine--and what is an Oscar ceremony without Celine?!? Joyful shouts of AGHUGH reverberate throughout the living room at 401 Wickenden as BEAUTY AND THE BEAST comes on. It is at this point that I realize it's a montage of former best song winners. It also invokes a "BEAUTY AND THE BEAST!!!!!!!!" text message from Aliza. And then BARACK comes on. What a montage! The performances commence after an un-funny Kevin Spacey. Randy Newman thrills us, but Mandy Moore and Zach Levy not so much. One unnamed onlooker texts in her response: "Mandy! I'm too excited"
Matt's love for the song becomes apparent as he continues to sing the song as it cuts to a commercial break. And then the feed is shut down. We realize it's actually a lot more fun to watch the Oscars this way--more of a game." --Sara
